In a recent workshop Linda, a manager, asked Anne, “Why do you need to babysit people?” which is what continuous feedback can feel like. Well if you don’t give feedback, then it can be difficult for a team to develop. The team needs continual feedback to feel safe, and one beauty of giving continuous feedback is that it takes the sting out of a formal appraisal, like with an annual review. It also leaves you free to look at future challenges.

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Dr. Geoff talks about working with depression. It’s a difficult subject, and while most of us experience some form of depression in our lives, the most common form of depression may not really be depression at all; rather it could simply besadness. If someone at work experiences a loss, we could be effected by this, and experience sadness.
The most important thing to do with this is to process the depression, which turns out to be a repeated thought loop. The best thing to do is to cut the loop of thoughts. Talk about the day, share what’s happening. That can often release the depression. Another big thing that can be done is to exercise. Just being active sets the brain going in a different direction and lets depression drop away.

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Dr. Geoff talks about the power of asking powerful questions. Rather than asking questions that can be answered by yes or no, ask questions that get to the heart of the matter. For example, rather than asking how a project is going, ask, “What are the main obstacles at the moment?”
It turns out that the most powerful questions begin with “What” and are very short — not to mention dumb! The most powerful question might be “What do you want?” … “What do you really want?”

This is a great way for managers & leaders to get under the surface and ask powerful questions.

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Dr. Geoff on an exciting approach to approaching what you really want to do.

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Cross-posted at Vetali Central



Cross-posted at Vetali Central

When you ask someone to perform a task, be alert for the little word “try” (or “do my best”, “give it my best shot” etc.).  “Try” is often code for “I’m not going to be fully committed”.  One simple approach is to repeat the question “Will you…?” and hopefully get a “yes!” the second time.  Of course there are often variables that can’t be controlled, but the commitment to do it makes a big difference.  Next time you hear “try” – beware!

Another is “Let me play devil’s advocate for a moment..”, to which my immediate response is usually “NO!”  Why?  Because it’s a copout – someone gets to criticize and be negative, while pretending they don’t really believe what they are saying.  Devils advocates can derail a discussion instantly, or send it in an unproductive direction.  These days I ask Devils Advocates to please just speak what they genuinely think is the case.  I hope you will too.

First, what are the things you want to do every day?  What daily habits do you want to cultivate?  Most people say something like – eat properly, exercise, meditate, get to bed at a reasonable time, floss my teeth, read, listen to music, etc.

Reducing your overwhelm & stress begins with deciding what you need to do (or not do!) to sustain you each day.  Make a list of those things you want and need to do each day to sustain you.  Looking after ourselves properly – body, speech, and mind – is the first essential for business success.  True, you can get away with not looking after yourself, for a while, but sooner or later you get sick, or bad things begin to happen.

Second, what do you need to accomplish this week?   Sit down on a Sunday (or Monday morning), review all that is on your plate, and decide what must be done, then schedule it in your planner or schedule – and guard this time fiercely!  If you make the time to accomplish some of the things that must be done, and you look after yourself well, stress and overwhelm usually decline.  Work on it for a few weeks and you will have greatly improved your life!

As Stephen Covey says – “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”

You might think you have no choice in who you are.  Not true.  We each have a huge spectrum of being – we can manifest in many ways.  However, our habitual pattern is to embody only a small part of that spectrum.  Great leaders are able to access a wide range of their being, depending on the situation.  This is not about pretending to be someone you are not – it’s about accessing parts of yourself you may never have used.

Think about a challenging situation you will face this week.  Think of the characteristics you’ll need – make a list of them.  For example, it might be a difficult management meeting you need to lead, so the list might look like – “well-prepared, open, humorous, clear-minded, patient, good listener, decisive and firm”.  Who can you think of who embodies these attributes?  It might be someone famous, or someone you’ve known personally.  George Clooney?  Oprah?  Kofi Annan?  Judge Judy?   Whoever really embodies those attributes for you.

Then focus on BEING that person – access the part of you that IS that individual.  How would that person walk into a room?  How would they sit?  Practice being that part of yourself – then, in the situation you are preparing for, enter in that manifestation and STAY there for the course of the situation.  When you notice yourself drift away from the manifestation, just return to it.  You might even carry a picture of who you are “being” and take a peak at it discreetly through the meeting!

To learn to use this process well, always begin by asking: “Who do I need to BE in this situation?”

So, who do you need to be today?  Experiment!